My love :(

Post time3-02-2021, 02:08

All's I can ever tell you is the truth, When I first met you I sort of hoped you would just be one of those people who would walk away after a couple of days, I didn't ever intend for you to become a big part of my life, I never intentionally let you become the one person who would make me see the world in a whole new light, I never intended to fall in love with you, I never even wanted to, I don't ever mean any offence by that but I know I am always better walking the lone road in life, I always will be much better off alone as when i'm alone there is no damage I can do to any other soul other than myself, Well I guess I do owe you one massive thankyou in life, You showed me true love, I know you only fel true love once and I am always grateful that I found it with you, I will always love you even though you no longer remember me, I'll always remember the way you left me speechless whenever you spoke, I'll always remember the way you would never accept any compliment I gave you, Always telling me I was lying even though you knew I would never lie to you, I'll remember the nights you got scared and I would talk to you even after you fell asleep just so you could feel like there was someone there with you all night long, All those nights I gave all I had just to make sure you never killed yourself, All those times I would lay awake and just watch you sleep just so you would have a peaceful night, I'll also remember all those nights we argued over silly things, All those hours I would spend just searching for the right way to make it up to you even when the argument wasn't my fault, All those times you made me smile when all's I wanted to do was cry, All those times you made me laugh just by been you, The way you always knew when I needed you even when we were miles apart, I remember you would always know how to make me feel better when I felt so terrified, Yeah I remember a lot of good and bad things, Pretty much everything we ever went through to be fair, All the pain I caused you and all the times I pretty much ruined your life, I also remember the time you fell for that other person and left my heart nothing but a broken mess, Our relationship was ruined by that person, I loved you more than I could ever put into words and in a heartbeat you moved on, Yeah i'll admit that was a little more than I could ever handle, I had to sit back and watch you fall more in love with the other person with each passing second and I knew there was never a thing I could of done about it, It caused me a lot of pain to watch you slowly move on from me, I remember all those times you didn't want to talk to me just because they were online, All those times you dropped me just so you could talk to them then came running back as soon as they left or even worse decided to leave just because they did, All those nights I had to spend alone just because they refused to come online so you decided to do the same, All those times you would complain to me about how they would prefer to do anything else rather than talk to you, Well that was too much. I was a little angry yet saddened when they told you how they had used you, Made you fall in love with them for a cruel joke, You dumped me for this other person even though they were married with a kid on the way even though at the time you never knew that, They were just someone who managed to treat you better than I could have in my wildest dreams, They treat you like a queen while I could only treat you as a princess, That all changed though when they hurt you, I guess it hurt me a lot more knowing you finally got to feel the pain I felt every moment I was without you, I am truly sorry for the pain you did feel, You know aswell as I that if I could of taken the pain I would have, I would have taken every little bad feeling you had and added them to all the pain I had to feel, Still do feel, I would of let you live a life without pain or fear if only I knew how, I would suffer every bad moment in life if it meant you could spend a lifetime of happiness, I know I did manage to do one thing, Not sure how but I did it, I took those nightmares you suffered and made sure that you slept peacefully everynight at the cost of me not only suffering nightmares at night but suffering them through the day aswell, Yeah I somehow got it so you didn't suffer while I had to suffer twice as much as normal, Sounds strange but I will admit it was worth it, Whatever happened that night I am glad it happened, Sure i suffer a lot but I know that you don't anymore, I just want to say that through all the good and the bad times we shared I would never change a single one, I mean I love you more and more with each passing heartbeat, You was my world, My life, My heartbeat, You was my oxygen, I never thought I would be able to live without you but I seem to be doing it, Not a very good life I will admit that but I am managing to pass the days, I want you to know one last thing, I know you will never read this but I do love you, I have from the very first words we spoke to each other, I never knew what you looked like to begin with but that never mattered because to me you was and always will be the most beautiful girl to ever walk this earth, I mean yeah you still do walk this earth but I mean that past, present and even in the future there will never be a girl that can even come close to how beautiful you are, Anyways this has dragged on a little too long, Just want to say I love you, I still care about you deeply and I truly and honestly miss you with all the little pieces of my broken heart, You will always be the only girl that could ever fix the damage but I know you never will, Oh well I would rather live with a broken heart and say I felt true love than have a whole heart and say I never knew what love was, So I guess this is goodbye, Wish I could see your smile one last time, See those beautiful blue eyes or just hear your angelic voice but I know I never will so I will just have to survive with the memories of you, Love you so much, Always will till the end of time, Goodbye my sweet princess, I hope your life is filled with all the things you truly deserve, Peace, Happiness and even love.

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