Death By Desire...

The idea started in one of her psychology classes, a seminary on human sexuality. The professor had discussed asphixia, and how low oxygen levels often caused sexual arousal. Inspite of the dangers the professor had mentioned, Jennifer was curious and had to try it. "Just once" she told herself.

That afternoon she was alone in her dorm room. She took a plastic bag from the box of trash can liners she had boughton the way home and placed it over her head. Then she tied a scarf around her neck to hold it in place and lay on her bed to see what would happen. In a short time, she began to breathe faster, a sure sign that the oxygen was going. Sure enough, she began to feel strongly aroused. Her brests, already firm with youth, tensed further. Her nipples felt like soft pebbles beneath her silk blouse as she gentlestroked them with one hand. With her other hand she stroked her vagina which was tightening ecstatically as she approached orgasm. Her breathing got faster and faster as the oxygen was used up. Her stroking kept time; faster and faster. The bag sucked against her face with each futile gasp for air. Then, just when she felt like she could stand it no longer, the orgasm swept over her like giant wave. At last she pulled off the bag and drank in the cool sweet air. Jenny collapsed on the bed, feeling exhausted and fullfilled.

She used asphixia for sex often after that. She always found the experience as pleasurable as any technique she had tried, but increasingly she found the experience less fullfilling. It seemed that something was missing to make her pleasure perfect and complete.

It was several months before she discovered what was needed to achieve complete satisfaction.

Kathy died in an accident at the lake. She and Jenny had been more aquaintances than close friends, yet Jenny still felt a need to pay her respects. Jenny arrived at the Funeral Home near the end of the visitation time listed in Kathy's obituary. A few people stood in the parlor, speeking in hushed tones.

The entrance to the visitation room was hung with heavy curtains of satin and gold brocade. A man in a dark suit with a permanent expression of concern stood at the entrance to the room where Kathy lay. As Jenny approached, he parted the curtains and beckoned her to enter. Jennifer stepped through the curtains and, it seemed to her, into a dream. The room was dimmly lit. Along the opposite wall, a row of spotlights illuminated Kathy's open casket. The air was heavy with the sweet fragrance of the bouquets of roses and lilies which occupied almost all the available wall space.

Kathy lay as if peacefully asleep. She was dressed in a white gown of fluid silk that accentuated the gracefull curves of her youthful body. Her long dark hair flowed down over her shoulders and lay at the sides of her perfect breasts. The white silk of her burial gown, draped over those perfect breasts, left just enough to the imagination to be truly lovely and desirable. Her folded hands held a single perfect white lily. The expression on Kathy's face was one of perfect peace and contentment.

Jenny gazed at Kathy's beautiful dead body and found herself wishing that she were lying there in that perfect repose. She imagined the satin casket lining close all around and the white silk burial gown draped over her own young body. The thought aroused her like nothing since the experiments with asphyxia.

Looking around, she saw she was alone. She reached out and gently touched Kathy's breasts. They felt cool and firm beneath the fluid silk. Then, almost involuntarily at first, she began to stroke her own breasts and began to masturbate. She imagined that she was the one in the casket instead of Kathy. She imagined lying in darkness, surrounded by smooth cool satin as the earth was falling on her grave. This time the orgasm came slowly, rising from her crotch up through her breasts, then carrying her away as on a gentle but irresistable stream that went on, and on and on. After the orgasm, she stood for a few moments and collected her thoughs. She realized that it was not Kathy's dead body that had aroused her. It was the idea of being laid out like Kathy that she found exciting. The thought of the fluid silk burial gown draped over her firm breasts and the cool smooth satin of the casket close all around she found to be strangely and powerfully erotic.

Jenny hadn't planned on attending Kathy's funeral the next day, but she found the attraction too strong to stay away. As she watched Kathy's casket being carried into the church, she imagined herself lying within, feeling the gentle swaying as the pallbearers stepped in time to the processional music. In her mind, she substituted her own name for Kathy's each time it was mentioned in the service and the erotic feelings began to rise. It was all she could do to avoid starting to masturbate in the church as she imagined herself being carried from the church and placed in the hearse. At the cemetary, as she watched Kathy's flower covered casket being lowered into the grave, she closed her eyes and imagined being in the casket. She was being lowered slowly down. The sweet fragrance of flowers mixed with the musty odor of earth. Then the earth was falling on the casket, her casket. She was being buried. The air was going, going, gone. Without any stroking the orgasm swept over her.

Jenny knew what she wanted. She understood what was required to achieve perfection. Asphixia alone lacked completeness, elegance, finality. Jenny now knew how to achieve them, but the plan would require patience and a bit of luck.

Two weeks later the first step in her plan fell into place. The notice she had waited for appeared on the jobs board at the financial aid office. A local funeral home needed a night attendant. Jenny applied for and got the job.

Her job was to drive the utility van to the hospital to collect bodies. She was require to be on call at the funeral home from 6:00 in the evening to 7:00 the following morning. When she didn't have to make a run, She was free to do what she wanted. The funeral director warned her that previous employees had left out of boredom. Jenny wasn't worried.

As soon as she had been left alone on her first night of work Jenny set out to explore. She quickly found the display room full of caskets. With a little more exploration she found the storeroom where the burial gowns where kept. From then on she spent much of her free time dressed in a burial gown, lying in a casket imagining her own funeral. Sometimes her erotic attractions would take hold and she would stroke her breasts and clitoris until she the orgasm came. Other times she would just lie quietly, feeling perfectly contented.

It was six months before the next step fell into place. Through the translucent plastic Jennifer could see the woman's naked body as the hospital orderlies loaded her into the van. The records identified her as a 22 year old female who had died from accidental carbon monoxide poisoning. Her name was Jennifer Bates.

Jenny could hardly believe it. After all the waiting it was finally time to complete her plan. She could not sleep that evening or eat the next day she was so exited. Out of town services would ruin the plan. Open casket services would give her away. Body donation or cremation could also force her to wait for another namesake (how long? six months two years? there was no way to tell) The following evening she checked the case file. The visitation would be the following afternoon and evening. The family had specified a closed casket funeral in a local church with burial to follow. Yes! It was a dream coming true. Jenny could hardly believe her good fortune.

The following evening she had two pick-ups to make. It was just as well. Jenny doubted that she could have slept anyway. It was 3 in the morning before she had the last client safely tucked away in the cooler. She was exhausted, but thought to herself, "Just a little more, then heaven!"

She rolled one of the gurneys down to visitation room where the other Jenny lay. The white casket had been closed and the flowers removed in preparation for transport to the church in the morning. Jenny opened the casket and looked at the young woman within for the first time since she had rolled her, wrapped in a plastic body bag, into the body storage room. Just like Kathy, she seemed to be peacefully assleep. Her face showed the same expression of almost devine contentment as Kathy's had. Jenny thought that it seemed a shame to disturb her, but she knew that it was the only way and that she was beyond caring.

As gently as she could she lifted her body onto the gurney and rolled her to the store room. There, she placed her on one of the back shelves and covered her with a stack of surplus body bags. She would be found in a few days, but by then Jennifer would be well beyond anyones reach.

Jennifer next went to the garment room and ***********ed a white silk dress from the rack of burial gowns. She removed her own clothing and put on the dress. From the shoe rack she ***********ed a pair of white satin slippers and slid them on. She took her own cloths and added them to a bag of clothing removed from "clients" in the body preparation room. Thus arrayed, Jenny returned to the visitation room where the casket she would claim as her own lay open and empty, like a well made and welcomed bed. Jennifer removed and discarded some portions of the rubber gasket that would make the casket air tight. Then, with only a moment's hesitation, she climbed in, lay down, and pulled closed the lid.

Jenny had not slept significantly in three days. Now, in this narrow satin bed, she suddenly felt perfectly safe and relaxed. In a few minutes she was sound asleep.

Jenny was awakened by a jolt. It took her a moment to remember where she was. Thin shafts of light penetrted the gaps where she had removed pieces of the sealing gasket and dimmly illuminated the satin casket lining close about on all sides. She was being moved. From the sound she could guess where she was. First to the elevator, then down one floor to the garage. She was being lifted into the hearse for the trip to the church. She heard the backdoor close, then the driver's door openned and closed, and the engine started. No turning back now she thought.

The trip to the church required only a few minutes. She began to feel the erotic pleasure rise as the door openned and she felt herself being lifted out. There was a slow rhythmic swaying as the pallbearers carried her into the church. It was just as she had imagined it during Kathy's funeral so many months ago. She heard quiet sobbs from some as she was carried up the aisle to the bier. She was lifted slightly then set down. The light dimmed as the pall was spread over her casket. The sweet aroma of flowers quickly filled the casket. She lay quietly, dreamily, listening to the beautiful funeral music and the words of the funeral service. This time she didn't need to imagine her name in place of someone elses. Her name was there. It was her own funeral, and she was here, listening to it all! The beauty and wonder of it filled her with a joy such as she had never known before. As her sexual feelings intensified, she began to massage her breasts without thinking. They felt so firm and perfect beneath her silk gown. It took a concentrated effort to stop before she climaxed. "No" she thought, "the consummate time is not yet".

How long did this last? Logically she knew that funerals lasted about 45 minutes or an hour. But in her dreamy drifting she lost all sense of time. Before she knew it she was being carried again. The same rhythmic swaying, only this time the music grew fainter as she was carried out of the church and placed in the hearse for the trip to the cemetery. The trip to the cemetery was not much longer than the trip from the funeral home to the church. In seemed only a short time before the hearse came to a stop, the rear door was opened, and she again felt herself being lifted and carried, and then set down.

It was almost done. Her exitement grew as the brief grave-side service was completed. At last she heard the priest's words "We now commit Jennifer's body to the earth - Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust" Again, she had to fight the urge to masturbate.

She felt herself being lowered, slowly, into the cool musty earth. For a while all was quiet. Then she heard the the first rattle and thud of earth falling on the casket lid. One after another the shovels of earth fell, soon they blocked the little light that had penetrated the casket. Then they grew gradually fainter as the earth filled her grave, sealling her fate and assuring her final ecstasy.

It didn't take long. Her breathing got faster and faster as the air in the casket was quickly used up. With each breath her pleasure and arousal grew. Jenny knew she was dying, and the thought filled her with ecstasy. She was gasping for air now. Her heart was pounding. Her feeling of arrousal had been rising all day. Now, in final moments of life, she let the orgasm sweep over her until her whole body convulsed with pure heavenly rapture. Again and again the pleasure came sweeping over her; the devine convulsions sweeping upon her one after another as fast as her racing breaths.

Then it was done. Jenny held a last sweet breath and felt a perfect calm enfold her. She gently ran her hands over her silk burial gown and then folded her hands over her breasts. Slowly she let the air escape and smiled contentedly as she thought "at last! I'm dead!"

As Jenny had guessed, it was a few days before the mortician discovered the "misplaced" body. Inorder to correct the error, the grave was excavated and Jenny was discovered. The note she had placed with the other Jenny's body explained all, and the mortician was cleared of all wrong doing. None-the-less, Jenny's family had a different funeral home handle the arrangements for her "proper" funeral. Three days after she was found Jenny lay in her own open casket in the funeral home, dressed for burial, surrounded by flowers.

Karen could not help but notice the smile of devine contentment on Jenny's face as she gazed at her body laid out in the casket. Karen found herself imagining that she, not Jenny, was lying there, dressed in white silk, surrounded by sweet flowers. She found the thought filled her with erotic pleasure. She was alone in the room. Imagining her own funeral, she began to masturbate

The end?