Distant Love - Part 6.3 - Memories from the past...._(0)

Some days after I lost the fight against JohnI continued my life just the way it was ever since I moved in to San Diego, Californiaa boring day on school, doing homeworklots and lots of homeworkhanging around with friends from my class.Alex and Mark's own "Messing Around"and in one of these "messing around moments" Alex invited us to sleepover at his placewe took our opportunity of coursewe played wii, Xbox, talked about the new upcoming PS4 and how we all were already sticking with Sony this time, that earned us some laughs, that's when the questions were mostly turned to things from the past

"Who was your first crush?", "First Kiss! Tell us about it!", "When was the first time you jerked?"I sincerely have no interest on talking about the past.from where I am standingthe past is something unecessary, expendableafter all everything is already gone.I killed several memories from the moment I got herebut of coursethe questions were obviously turned to me..and Alex got the chance to ask me.

"Who was your first crush? BOY crush" He asked

Yeah I remember my firstalmost-boyfriendthat's a story I can share after all

-Brazil,Rio de Janeiro, July 2009-

Ok here we goI always had a certainatraction toward boysspecially some in my class, of course, at that time, all boys want to prove that they are tough, that's one of the few reasons why my mother, ever since I was little, encouraged me into signing up to special grups such as Archery, Parkour.and I'd give everything I had ever sinceI was only 12 at the time but I understood the fact that if I do something wrongmom would scold me until we got homeand of course, I didn't want that

Anyway, I had a crush on a couple of guys at my school.Fernando, he was pretty, and a nice guy.but you can't get him angry.Matthews Luca, a cool guy and pretty, but no way he'd give in to a bi or gay guyThiago? Why nothe was a gay, already out of the closed and actually cute.but I actually doubt that he'd want anything to do with a guy like me

Doubts like that made me walk around with my best friend at the time, his name is Lucas, short hair, Light brown, slender like I was, about my tall, howeverhe had something I could never forget.besides being my best friendhe had prettyand I mean PRETTY eyesthey were greenwith a bit of blue, and according to the light, the color would variate between Green and Blue, so he was never with bad eyes.I had him as a brother, we played, joked, talked about others, played games togheter and even shared moments that only the closest brothers shared, like seeing eachother naked, and changing togheter(with no one around of course) it was funny at the time, I actually thought to myself if I was actually falling in love with him

"Heygrow upif he's your friend, he will accept the fact thatwellyou like boysmaybe?" That's what I thought to myself everyday.on my bed, I'd always look at the mirror, trying to find something wrong on my way of beingthe thing isI was actually an introverted kidgirls from school used to say that I'd grow up as some crazy adult and kill everyoneI never gave much attention to itbut of courseI deserved thatI was basically an emotionless kidwalking around with black AllStar shoes, black jeans, the school's uniform shirt(which was obrigatory) and a black coat that looked like a greatcoat on me.

Lucas in fact was introverted too.at the beggining.then he started to let loosetalk to girls, make impressions of funny characters outloud in class, and I started following his lead, I'd whistle musics which actually had a whistling part, he'd congratulate me on the "EPICNESS!" which I actually thought that it was coolto me, Lucas would actually lighten up my day if it was boring.

"That's it!" I was decided with my child's mind that I'd tell him who I actually was"I AM BI" that's what I had to say3 simple wordsand I was so nervous.I came closer to him on our way homewhat I said was obviously on my first language, portuguese, but I'll translate it to you

"HumLucas." I said.

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"Awsome translating buttface" Alex said, interrupting me.

"Hey, you want to hear the story or not?" I asked him

"Hey man! Shut up! I was enjoying it!" Mark said, disappointed.

"Nigga pleaseyou were almost sleepingafter all, it's so depressive!" he said.

"You want to hear the rest of the story or not?" I asked.

"Of course I want"he said.

"Then shut up!" Mark said throwing himself against Alex and shutting his mouthI could hear only the techno beat of a remix of "Bulletproof".low.really low.okI could continue

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"HumLucas" I said.

"Yeah?" he answered.

"I have something to tell you." I saida bitnervous

"What is it?" He asked stopping.

"I'mwell.you seeI'vealwaysyou know" I continued saying nonsense until he put his hand on my shoulder.

"Dudecalm downtake a deep breath and tell mecalmly" he said.even though he was a really energic guy, he was also calm most of timesI did as I was toldI took a deep breath, looked at him in the eyesand said it

"I'm bi" I said, I looked at him so see his reaction, the only thing he said was

"ok" He said, looking at me and smiling, I actually thought he was going to turn away and run.

"O-Ok?" I asked.

"Yeah, ok I mean itin fact.I already knew" he said.

"You knew?" I asked him.

"In fact I was thinking if you were gay or biI noticed how you look to guys andunder the waist lineand how you get nervous when changing clothes in front of another guy." He said.

"Am I that obvious?" I asked.

"You bet you are!" He said laughing, no matter whathe was actually my best friendone of the few that even if I didn't feel like smilinghe'd make me laugh.I liked that on himI walked him home and his mother was there to welcome him, she invited me in, likedozens of timesbut I sincerely couldn't accept.she liked me a lot for some reason, maybe because once, Lucas told her that I'm the only one that actually shows up to do homework with him or study seriously.and she liked thator maybe because I was one of the few that showed up at his place when he had broken his knee playing soccerI'd help him getting up, help him putting on the immobilizer, help him sitting on bed, lend him my PSP so he could have fun during long visits to the doctor, get the homework for him, and even change the ice on his knee sometimesaccording to him, his mother was grateful for the stuff I did for him and that one day, he'd pay me up for everythingI actually didn't want him toI was happy doing all that stuff and earning a "thank you" from him, turns out that I actually buy him a soda everyday.he was saving coins he'd find on the street so one day he'd buy me a cookie and a sodathat's dedication

I got home that day, happy with myselfand the first music I heard was "I'll go crazy if I don't go Crazy tonight" by U2, this music even today has a big emotional impact on me, I did my usual stuff like homework, my english course homework, take my bath and finally eat something.the rest of the way was only a detail.

Days passed normally, until I got the invitation from Lucas to sleepover at his placePS3MoviesLucaswhy not? I packed my stuff for the night and headed to his place, he welcomed me shirtless and with boxers onhe didn't care I'd see him like thateven though he knew I was bithats something.in factI looked at his chest andseems soccer earned him some muscles, I could see the outline of the beggining of a 4 pack.in fact, he was forcing it(show off) because only 2 show up when he is relaxedlike me, the only difference from me to him at that timeis that I actually had no man boob, and he didI was skinnier than him, yet, I was heavier for some reason

We did everything I thought we would do, we played on his notebook, the PS3, watched some movies, HORROR movies, which I actually don't know why because he hates them.I can tolerate a scary moviebut according to him: "One night watching one of these movies is the very same night he'll sleep with his mother".

After dinner we went to his room, we talked about random stuff and late night, when I was about to hit my head on the soft pillow, he asked me:

"Sothis is just the sameeven though you're bi" he said.

"Is it actually ok?" I asked.

"It has toyou're like my little brother manI pretty much have to like you for who you are" he said.

"I don't knowyou seem kinda.weird" I said.

"It's just that I wasn't expecting that you would likebebi, I meanI already knew that butit was just somethingthat came from nothingif you understand" He said, a bit reluctant.

"I understand! Chill man!" I said before closing my eyes and laughing, for some reasonhe wasn't laughingbut instead, I felt a kiss out of a sudden, I was surprised! I meanthe only one in that room was Lucas.the kisswas it his? I opened my eyes slowly to find out that he was in front of me, smiling with his eyes closed, he was totally cute with that face

"Was that your first kiss?" he asked.

"Wellyeah" I answered.

"Sorry I stole it" he said.

"It's ok, but why?" I asked.

"As simple as 1,2,3.I wanted to try it and I did, I meanyou came out to me and I was curious about how a kiss from a boy felt likethings fit perfectly" he said

"So youused me" I said looking narrowly at him.

"No!" he answered laughing. " I swear I was curiousand guess what" he continued.

"What?" I asked.

"I liked it" he said looking at me with those blue and green eyesI felt my heart tightening against my chest.I lost breathI didn't know what to say.I swallowed saliva and decided myself

"You wannado it again?" I asked.

"Of course I do" He said getting near again to kiss me, and this timeI actually felt the so called fireworks and butterflies on my stomachit was awsomewe had both already brushed out teeth and we tasted eachother's mint flavor, we broke the kiss and looked at eachother.

"You kiss well" He said.

"You too" I said. " and you have pretty eyes" I continued.

"Well thanks" He said smilingI was actually liking where this was goingI looked at his boxers, he had a big boner, his dick has always been bigger than minebut also slender, I guess my boner also showed through the thin fabric of my pyjamas, we looked at eachother with a look of embarassmentbut also curiosityall I managed to do was sit on my leg, Lucas on the other hand, got up and pulled down his boxers.his dick was actually bigand he must have shaved or somethinghe had no hair therewellneither did II shaved too.

"Aren't you going to show me yours?" he asked, wellwe HAD seen eachother nakedbut only at the changing room with tons of guys around.never looking under the waist is a rulebut now was totally differentI got up and pulled the pyjamas bottom down togheter with my underwear, he looked at my dick, i looked at hishe extended his hand to grab my hand and put it on his dick.it twitched with my touchhe also touched mine and we slowlystarted jerking eachother..it was awsomemagicaluniquewe jerked eachother for sometime.I got an ideathings I've seen on porn moviesI decided I was going to give him.my first blowjobI got on my knees and took hold of his dick with my handshe looked at me and I could finally have the guts to put it inside my mouthI loved the tasteI licked and sucked his dick for minutes until he came inside my mouth.sour, hout, salty and a bit sweet cum.he looked tiredI swallowed every drop of his cum and let go of his dick

"you.suck well" he said with a smile, I couldn't help but smile back, I was so happy I couldn't describeI was happy that I was the first one to give him a blowjobmy first blowjobmy first kiss from a boyI didn't even bother I didn't cumbut apparently.it was not ok with Lucasbecause he came to kiss me againlowering himself.until he found my dick.he took it inside his mouth.I knew blowjobs were awsome.but I wasn't expecting something like that! I loved the feeling of being suckedspecially by himwhen I came, he swallowed and looked at me with a face of approvalI was wondering if he had done that beforebut I was just too tired to do anythingso I just did as I planed earlierI got on my underwear.and got on bedhe followed me but he made several questions."are you ok?", "did you like it?", "can we do it another time again?".all my answers were "yes", before I blacked out

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"What happened after that? In the morning?" Alex asked.

"I'm going to tell you in one minute" I said

"Oh come on.where are you going!?" Mark asked.

"The bathroom! Gee! I'll be just back!" I said as I left the room..the radio on the table now plays"I'll go Crazy if I don't go Crazy tonight"..