I Woke Up With A Fat Chick

I Woke Up With A Fat Chick

I woke up and couldn’t believe my eyes,

When I caught sight of those monster thighs,

Was that a cow that was sucking my dick?

No, I woke up with a very fat chick.

The sight of her got me thinking,

I really should give up drinking,

As if I needed a reason why,

I should also stop getting high.

Looking at this gruesome sight,

I tried to recall what I did last night,

How did I possibly wind up with her?

But my mind was simply in a blur.

Could I have picked her up in a bar?

How did she possibly fit in my car?

I was no longer in the mood,

As I thought of ways to protect my food.

I thought about the weight limit of my bed,

If she rolls over, I’ll be dead,

I tried to think of a good excuse,

For me to turn this cow loose.

Not trying to sound really mean,

But she was the biggest I have seen,

If she had an appetite,

No telling what she would bite.

A girl so big she had her own zip code,

Now here she was in my abode,

No way could I have fun,

With a girl who outweighed me three to one.

Just a warning from me to you,

Be careful what you go and do,

Because if you think you’re seeing double,

You just might be in really big trouble.

04-14-10.