Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey

The missus bought a Paperback

down Dymocks, Saturday,

I had a look in her bag;

T’was “fifty shades of grey”.

Well I just left her to it,

At ten I went to bed.

An hour later she appeared;

The sight filled me with dread…..

In her left hand she held a rope;

And in her right a whip!

She threw them down on the floor,

And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;

I might have had a peek;

But Doris hasn’t weathered well;

She’s eighty four next week.

Watching Doris bump and grind;

Could not have been much grimmer.

Things went from bad to worse;

She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled up upon her feet;

A couple minutes later;

She put her teeth back in and…

Said…. I must dominate her!!

Now if you knew our Doris,

You’d see just why I spluttered,

I’d spent two months in traction

For the last complaint I’d muttered.

She stood there nude, naked like;

Bent forward just a bit ….

I thought what the hell,

Stepped forward,

and stood on her left tit!

Doris screamed, her teeth shot out;

My god what had I done!?

She moaned and groaned then shouted out:

“Step on the other one”!!

Well readers, I can’t tell no more;

About what occurred that day.

Suffice to say my jet black hair,….

Turned “fifty shades of Grey”.