Portal Gun Fun

When I got the package, I was thrilled. I spent a hundred dollars for a replica of the gun from the games Portal 2 and Portal. It claimed to have working lights, sounds, and moving parts. It would be interesting to see how good it looked.
When I took it out of the wrapping, it looked exactly like the gun from the game. It was a little smaller and seemed to be one handed, instead of it's normal two handed size. I tested it out, and was glad to see the promised functions worked. However, the batteries died really quickly.
I replaced them with some higher power, higher function ones, as well as added a laser projector to the end. It's snap on and off when I touched the trigger, so I could see where the portal was going to be aimed. I loaded it back up, put it back together, and pulled the trigger.
A loud woosh sound emanated from it, and an orange oval appeared on the wall. I blink and stared at it, confused. I must have keyed the second trigger, because I heard another woosh sound, and fell through the floor. I landed right about where I had been standing. It took me a moment to realize I had made a portal at my feet, and it shot me through the one on the wall. It was a good thing I had carpeting, or else I'd have slid right back into the other portal.
I pushed the blue trigger again, this time at another wall. I could see myself, from behind, through it. I spent a good hour sticking my arms, legs, and head through the portals, and looking out the other side. I even put a portal over my toilet, and took a leak from my bedroom.
It was later that night, that made me think of something else to do with the portal gun. I was laying in bed, thinking about sex. My cock was hard, and I was idly rubbing it. I rolled onto my side, and stared at the wall. I then thought about the gun.
I rolled out of bed, and picked up the gun. I aimed it at the wall, and pulled the first trigger. I then turned it a little, aimed, and pulled the second trigger. I then set the gun down, so I'd not accidentally trigger anything.
I walked up to the portals, one next to the other. I saw my cock appear out of the one on my right, as mine went into the one on the left. I looked at the dilemma, and backed up. I pushed my bed against the wall, and lay on my side. I could see my crotch dead on, when I looked through one portal.
"This aught to be interesting," I said to no one.
I scooted up against the wall, with my crotch slightly through the left portal. My cock was in perfect spacing in relations to my face on the other.
"Here goes," I said.
I leaned in and took my cock into my own mouth. The sensation was as good as any other blowjob I had ever gotten. It was strange, too. It felt weird and good, feeling my cock getting sucked, while I was sucking my cock. It was quickly becoming better then any blowjob I could get. Then, before I could consider what I would do about it, I found myself cumming into my own mouth. I swallowed. I don't know why, but I did.
"What sort of fucked up gay fantasy am I living," I asked myself. "Is it really gay, since it's just me doing it?"
I considered that over the next few days. Of course, I was sucking myself off three or four times a day now, too.
That's when I hit on my next experiment. I already conquered self oral sex. Now, I had to conquer self sex. I had to devise a way I could fuck myself in my own ass.
I started with angles. Those didn't quite work. I had to thrust while not moving. I tried a portal facing a portal. That also didn't work. Still had to move and not move.
Finally, I came up with a sliding platform. I could put one portal on it, put one portal on a non-sliding surface, and then close the gap. I would then slide the one portal closer and further. I went to work.
I set up two. The first was a padded platform that I could slide forward and back, like I was holding someone's hips. The other was a platform that sat against my crotch, that I'd stick my cock through. The other platform would be on a pedal system, where I could sit in a chair with no bottom, and pedal. The platform below me would then rise and lower, effectively thrusting up into me from below.
I tried the hip platform first. I set up the two portals, got undressed, and put some lotion liberally on my cock. I then stuck my ass out of the rear portal. I pulled the front portal closer, and guided my cock with one hand. I nudged the portal closer, and felt my cock slide into my ass.
To say the sensation was amazing sells it short. When I was done fucking myself in the ass, I was sweaty, and could feel my cum inside of my body. When I had rested, I tried the pedal chair, and found another amazing ass fucking. I would be reworking this one to a speed adjustable engine, definitely.
I still go out, because I love fucking pussy, but I do so less often now. I find myself spending a couple days just self enjoying. Nothing like having a good fuck or suck fest, with a willing partner.

Can you blame me?