SHOPLIFTER Chapter Five.

I had never known my dad this mad. He was furious. He just went on and on. I did not have to lie to him. I never had a chance. I never got to say a thing. I just sat there and sweat and froze. I was shaking violently.

The calls would be early tomorrow, because dad had to leave for a long meeting at Aronow & Associates and mother was committed to helping with a Make-A-Wish bake sale at nine.

Anger filled the room. That was it; meeting over. My dad was screaming angry things I will never remember as my parents stormed out of the kitchen and up to their bedroom.

I sat choking on a strange vomit that just rode in my throat. I could hardly breathe. I reached up under the remains of my blouse. I was hot in some places and freezing in others. My breasts were lactating everywhere.

When I could finally get down from the stool I made my way up to my room. I was so sick. I vomited twice. I dropped on my bed and just lay there shaking. I could hear my heart in my ears. I was unable to move, unable to think. Finally, I crawled into the bathroom one more time to vomit.

My world had completely collapsed. I had no options. I had no one to call. I had no one to talk too. Everything was dark, horrible, and chaotic.

Throwing Kyle under the bus…impossible! He was a nice, benign, preppy guy and his parents were even more preppy and boring, but if he got hit with something like this, the shit would hit the fan. His dad was a civil trial lawyer…do I need to say more.

Kyle had professed over and over how much he loved me, but that was when I was a cute virgin with a nice little ass and he wanted things to progress with me sexually. Now, knocked up by someone else he would have nothing to do with me. He was not the hero type at all. His parents, like mine, had instilled an outline for his life and it did not include marrying a pregnant girl while he was still a teenager.

Even If I was able to trick him into a marriage, the thought of Kyle and his family the day a black baby arrived caused me to convulse all over. Anything with Kyle and a “marriage” was beyond any consideration.

Jamal would do anything for me, but in the light of all this, there was nothing he could do that was worth considering. Living with him was a fantasy of the highest order. I had this picture of me sitting alone in his big condo, waiting for all hell to break loose. He was a grand good guyand a hell of loverbut beyond that we had nothing in common. When my parents learned where I was and what had happened to me, my life and his would not be worth living. There would be no protection for me in the normal suburb.

I sat on my bed tormenting. I could not have been more alone, more lonely, more tortured. I was as caught as a grizzle bear in one of those pipe traps. I had no way out. Nothing made sense. I looked over at my alarm clock…almost two.

My mind shut down I flopped backward on the bed, but stark terror kept my eyes wide open and tears flowed down toward my ears. I looked at the clock againten minutes had passed. The morning would be here inevitably. I was doomed at dawn.

I kept watching the number changing on the clock. At two thirty a light bulb came on and I sat up. I needed someone to at least know what was going on here at home. I felt like I was in real danger. What kind of hell would I face in the morning when I had to confess to my parents?

My dad was as angry as anyone I have ever seen and he thought I was pregnant by Kyle, a handsome, white, classmate with a big future. Can you imagine my morning if he learned the truthif I confessed the truth?

“Dad let me tell you the truth. I am a thief, a felon shoplifter, who fucked a big black security guard to avoid going to jail. I am three months pregnant with his baby.”

Get my casket ready.

I honestly could not trust my dad right now. I had never seen anyone so angry and he had guns in his bedroom.

I needed to talk to somebody. Call Jamalcame sweeping across the dark horrors in my head. At least he should know what was going on with me in case something violent happened.

Jamal’s number rang and rang, both times I tried. There was no answer. Thank goodness. What would I say to him anyhow? He could not protect me. He had absolutely nothing to offer a pregnant white girl in an all white world with parents ready to kill her. Getting Jamal involved in any way would be nuts. Think about how my parents would react if they knew who it was that did this. My dad would have him in jail in a heartbeat, probably for life.

Call Kyle? No way. Think about that.

I tormented. There was no way to get my mind organized. Everything kept going around in a circle, faster and faster. I struggled time after time to just stop this “wheel of panic”. And every time I tried the pointer stopped on one squareBobby.

PANIC

At two forty five in the middle of the night my Mustang quietly drifted backward out of the driveway into the dark. I had somehow changed into shorts and a sweater. I was physically sick as I drove. Several times I thought I would have to stop and vomit. The streets were empty. Traffic lights were mostly blinking yellow. My head spun so badly I feared going off onto the sidewalk several times.

Finally, I manage to get down to the hood. Here everything was wide awake. Bobby’s street was alive. There were several black guys sitting on his porch. I could hear music playing from somewhere. The street was parked full, but his drive was empty as usual.

There was a commotion as I pulled back along the house. A very big black guy opened my door and led me up the back steps. Bobby came out to the back porch rubbing sleepy eyes. I remember crying when I saw him. He said nothing, just gave me a strong embrace, a deep sweet kiss, and led me up to his room on the second floor. Everything he did was filled with kindness.

His room was big and fancy. His bed was enormous. I was an emotional wreck.

I remember him taking off my clothing. He gave me what he called a sleeping pill. I remember the warmth of his body. I remember his lips. I remember the blackest night with deep sound sleep.

I awoke some long time later. It was daylight. I was completely nude, covered with a blanket, lying beside Bobby in his large four poster canopy bed. I was resting on his right arm as he lay propped up on several big pillows, looking down at me, smiling, wide awake. I will always remember the feeling that came over meI was a little girl again. I was safe. There was no one here that would scream at me, condemn me, or ridicule me or worse.

“Wow girl, you damn near slept the clock around. It’s the middle of the afternoon. Bet your feeling a lot better now.”

I moved up a little on his arm to look toward the window.

“How long have you been awake?”

I asked quietly.

“I’ve been here for hours, holding you and letting you catch up on that rest.”

He smiled down,

“You really needed some special attention when you got here last night, lover. You were at the end of your straw.”

“I wondered what the hell had happened to you until I started to hear things around the hood. They tell me that whole white world shit on you big time. You had every reason to me a mess. Guys in building maintenance at the hospital put out that a bitch in reception did you in, big time. She set the whole world on you.

You came to the right place. I’m glad you got here without getting hurt. Bobby will always have your back. I put things together for you right after you got here. I had my guys put your car in the garage so it wouldn’t be found and I put the word out in the hood that we want you to have full protection here. You’re safe. Not even the fuzz will mess with you here. I got it all under control.”

I turned on my side to face him and hugged him so tightly my breasts started to respond.

“Bobby you cannot imagine the horror I went through and they only know a small part of the story. I have never seen people so angry. Thank you for taking me in. I’m so happy to be with you, to be safe from that nightmare if only for a few minutes. “

He looked at me with a mock disgust.

“What do you meana few minutes, girl? Get that minutes stuff out of your mind. A few minutes don’t solve it for you. You came here out of a world of shit and abuse that ain’t going away. It will only get worse, far worse, if you go back and they beat the whole story out of you. They don’t give a damn about you and you know it. There is nothing but hurt for you there, and you don’t need any part of their crap; understand?”

He hugged me to him,

“On the other side there is nothing but happiness and love for you here.”

He hesitated looking down at me. He was so concerned about me. I could feel loving commitment in every word.

Bobby was a loving guy, but he was forceful and blunt. He put everything right on the table for me,

“If you think you want more of that shit back home, Caroline, go back right now, before all the kindness down here gets further under your skin. Don’t stay and get caught up in all the love that’s here for you or you will never go back. Get up, right now, and head home. I’ll have your car backed out and ready by the time you get dressed and down there. Just say the word.”

He hesitated again. Looking at me with the most possessive look I have ever seen,

“But understand; if you stay here now, you are here with me from now on; understood?”

The horrible scene in the kitchen last evening came flooding back. My dad’s angry face; I had never seen anyone so angry; my mother crying uncontrollable with disappointment and sorrow.

I lay there cradled in Bobby’s loving arm, warm, safe, comfortable.

Slowly, revolutionary thinking came over me. I lay on his arm in comfort and security, but I knew his last words were not an idle threat. “If you stay you are here from now on.”

With that foremost in my mind, came to the most significant conclusion of my life.

There was a bad element in my home life that I had never allowed myself to truly consider. It became clear last night.

My parent’s anger last night explained so much. I could not get the intensity of my parent’s anger out of my mind. I had never seen people so distraught. Why, oh why, would they be so angry knowing only what they knew? So I was pregnant. They thought it was by a fellow classmate, Kyle. If that were true as they believed, that would not be the end of the world. It happens. It might have called for some disappointment on their part, but nothing like the vial, hateful, treatment I got from them.

It had to be something much moresomething that went far beyond the obviousand as I lay there it became clear.

Their love for me was very twisted and wrong. Think about it. I was a scared pregnant girl, but I was still their only daughter, and they had not offered even one expression of concern or love. They had offered nothing supportive. No compassion what so ever.

There was a reasona very big reasonand here was that reason. All their love for me was completely self serving. The entire diatribe had been about them. It was all about the disappointment they were going to experiencethe embarrassment at the clubthe embarrassment in the neighborhoodthe terrible impression this pregnancy would make with relatives and their friends.

As I lay there, cradled in Bobby’s loving arms, my thinking continued to expand. All these years, I had been nothing but a show piece for my parents. As long as I was the cute, well dressed, a good student that showed well, everything was grand; but one wrong step (admittedly a very big step) and I was persona non grata. The whole thing was about what a nightmare this was going to be for them, what a humiliation for them.

Through the years I did everything right. To them I was just like a prize cow at the county fair. I showed well.

Well now their cow was knocked up with big utters and they had kicked her out of the barn into the cold. She had embarrassed them. They did not hate methey didn’t even know me. I was only a show piece and now I was ruined.

I sobbed. Bobby hugged me gently and slowly all the nasty stuff was pushed from my mind by the warmth and promise of his body next to me. I had the settling feeling that comes with a final good decision. To my parents I was nothing but a trophy, but to man beside me I was important in my own right. His concern was all about me. His interest was helping me do those things that were best for me.

I hugged Bobby tightly and moved upward to his lips. He pulled me over on top of him, I spread so naturally and he entered me smoothly. My arms went around his head and my face went down past his right ear as I murmured with joy. For the next twenty minutes I clearly demonstrated not only that I was staying with him, but I was most grateful to be able to do so.

We finished absolutely together and he kept me on top of him as he hugged me repeatedly.

“Girl, what a way to tell me you have made your decision. That other world will never have another chance to dump on you. You are here with me.”

I nodded and tightened my arm around his neck.

He looked up at me, moved upward into my body and I climaxed again in his arms. My legs straddled him firmly.

He murmured lovingly,

“You sure are on board in more ways than one, lover.”

I nodded and hugged him one more time and he responded, arching upward to drive me farther up the hill sexually.

Bobby had just climaxed a third time deep within me when we were interrupted by a soft knock at the door. I rose up and he looked at me warmly,

“Well, we have lots of good things we need to get done, Caroline.”

“That is one of my guys. I asked him to bring a car around front and take you over to Treys Gallery.”

I hugged him.

“I have asked Trey to put a small commitment symbol on your cute tummyjust a sweet little memento of this contract between us.”

It was warm and safe beside him here in bed, but I understood his dark side as well. He was a loving man with a very kinky inclination. I worked to control my anxiety and the erotic desires welling up within me. He wanted to have me tattooed with some symbol that linked us together. Tattoos last a life time. A shiver passed though me. I was filled with questions.

I hugged him and kissed his lips.

“Bobby; how big? Where? I ”

“No questions girlyou have made your decision and I have made mine. I know you trust me completely or you would be headed home right now, right?”

I hugged him again.

“I need to hear your words, girl. Is there compete trust. The strong trust that you need to be here with me.”

The erotic drive within me overwhelmed any concerns or questions; hands down.

“Yes, I trust you. I trust you completely.

You can do what you want with me. I am yours”

I shook all over as I considered the level of commitment I had just given this very kinky black man. He had obviously made these arrangements before he knew my decision. What an optimist. Nohe simply knew me very well.

Things went quickly. As I got up he handed me a blue velvet robe from his walk-in closet, nothing more. At the bedroom door a tall black guy took my hand and led me straight down the stairs, out the front door and into a waiting limo. I sat alone in the back. There was a drink waiting in the cup holder. The driver’s only words were,

“Bobby wants that little glass empty when we get to Treys. Ok?”

I nodded, he shut the door. I drank everything in one large gulp as the car started down the street. I wanted no opportunity for second thought. My parents had dumped me and this man loved me so. I fully trusted him. He had proven he was completely on my side in this.

Trey’s was a decent looking establishment in a strip mall sort of on the edge of the hood. I felt a bit embarrassed dressed only in the blue robe, but the driver circled to the back of the building and I slid out of the limo and into the back door. I felt happy and woozy already. The drink had, had its effect.

Just inside the back door, I was met by a short heavy black guy with a wide and ready smile.

He supported me as we moved back through the building. With each step I felt more lightheaded. Somehow I expected to. That is why I just gulped the drink in the car.

We ended in a small room at the back of the hall, where he half lifted me onto a table. I was on my back. I remember my robe falling open completely exposing me; at least I think it did. The world went dim. The last thing I remember was a buzzing sound as the short black guy bent over me and worked on my lower tummy. So this “symbol” was going to be on my lower tummy. My world went sort of black and brown and my thoughts became happy little bright colored snippets.

It seemed like only moments later when the short cute guy came around the table to examine a wide gold band that had been placed snuggly around my neck. In my haze I can only remember him turning it slowly and complimenting his accomplice on a good job.

The whole thing didn’t seem to take long at all. Within minutes I was in the Limo headed back to Bobby’s; although I cannot remember walking out to the car. I do remember that once I was seated, the driver placed a hot cup of coffee in the cup holder for my return trip. It tasted good. As the limo moved along I became more and more lucid and with that more and more curious about what had been done on my lower body. Slowly, I opened the front of the robe and looked down.

“Holy Shit”

Bobby had said he wanted a small symbol. Well he sure had one. It was his signature tattooed in dark black cursive; “BOBBY”, about half an inch high, decoratively outlined in red. The writing was centered just above my blond pubic hair. The entire tattoo was over an inch high and five inches long. It was like a large crown completely across the top of my pubic region.

An erotic panic brought me to full reality. It was large enough and bright enough that one could clearly read it from across the room. It was there for ever more, for the rest of my life.

For a moment fear and a flood of possible bad consequences flooded my mind, but I quickly covered up with the folds of my robe and all the bad thoughts were gone, only erotic thoughts prevail. I belonged to the kinkiest, perverted, pimp and I had willingly agreed to his placing this very possessive symbol on me permanently. This was so weird, so erotic and so dangerous, but it was a small thing compared to the shit I left behind in the white world.

Another emotional thought crossed my mind. This tattoo symbolized I had resigned myself to Bobby and with that I had resigned this pregnancy to his wishes as well. I knew what Bobby wanted, and what Bobby wanted Bobby got. He had been perfectly clear from the beginning. He wanted me to have this baby.

It was all over for me. My appointment at the woman’s clinic had passed while I was still in bed with Bobby this morning. I had missed it without cancelling. No need to think about seeing a doctor again about it. They clearly told me it was my last legal window to have an abortion even with the special exceptions. My options were gone.

In some ways I felt relieved. I was now going to do one very right thing among all the wrong things. I looked down at my obvious tummy. It was evident even with the robe. It was early October. I would be having a black baby in about five months.

Jamal was going to be a father. We needed to talk very soon. He was going to wonder what happened to me. He was going to be so confused. My relationship with him going forward was a big unknown, but my past “relationship” with him was clearly evident and growing inside me every day.

The limo moved deeper into the hood somehow symbolizing for me that the road ahead was uncertain, but my body was now committed. I just had to trust that Bobby would get me through all this.

I was almost back to Bobby’s when I realized I was also wearing a wide gold band around my neck. I swung a mirror from the side of the limo to examine it. It was a solid band about an inch wide with a gold ring in the front. It was snug on my neck. I rotated it slowly but could see no way to remove it. There was no clasp, no seam. That second guy had somehow installed it while I was out on the table being tattooed.

It was mid afternoon by the time I arrived back in the hood. I was completely wide awake and back to my normal self. The limo driver stopped right in front of the house and opened the door as Bobby came down the steps.

Bobby had the most possessive smile on his face. He reached for my hand to help me out of the car and lead me up the steps to the porch. Just before opening the front door to the house he reached into his pocket and produced a short gold chain which he promptly snapped onto my neck band. His smile was the most possessive expression I had ever seen.

Right there on the porch he released the tie to my robe and opened it. He moved behind me and slowly sensually he turned me around toward the street. He hesitated with my body and the tattoo fully on display and I watched the reaction of the black guys loitering nearby on the sidewalk, in the alley, and across the street. How possessive can a man be?

Once satisfied that everyone knew about my returning. He turned me and led me into the front room by the short gold chain. I looked around to see no less than twenty black men lounging around the living room. It was clear they knew I was coming back. I was immediately the center of attention. A clearly distinguishable murmur grew among them and then quieted as Bobby led me to the middle of the room.

The group of blacks all stood as one and closed around us as Bobby opened the front of my gown and turned me slowly to show the new tattoo signature to everyone. It was greeted with murmurs, and quiet positive comments. I glanced downward. The contrast of my blond pubic hair with the bright black and red of the tattoo were so evident.

Travis, the eunuch, came over, looked down at me, and smiled widely.

“Bobby, my man, this is one beautiful piece of art. You done laid a final claim on your pregnant bitch.”

He looked at me directly,

“Have you looked at your new artwork, Caroline?”

I could just sense what Bobby would want me to say. I looked downward over my pregnant tummy,

“Yes, Travis. Bobby got me good, didn’t he? He knew it would drive me wild.”

I answered quietly. An uncontrolled tremor passed through my body. Bobby’s smile was something to remember.

He began to slowly turn me again. I could feel dampness. One more slow turn with my gown held back such that I was on full display and he took me slowly through the group of black guys and up the stairs. We arrived at a room I knew quite well.

BOBBY’S INIATION

We walked over together to sit on the edge of the bed. He turned toward me and carefully snapped the free end of the gold chain up to my neck band. He then let the chain fall down in a loop between my breasts like a piece of jewelry. It really was beautiful; a unique, very possessive, necklace.

He smelled so good. He looked so black so vibrant. Suddenly a new logic invaded my distracted mind. All this activity with Bobby—all his commitment—it was exactly what I needed to get rid of all the anger and worry from the “other” world. That white world was all about my parents; their friends, and their plans that I had to struggle to conform to. This world was all about me, right now, right here. My conformation was complete.

The world of hatred at home was far behind me, now. I was a new person. My decision about this pregnancy had been made for me, and I was tattooed with a commitment to this new world.

Bobby always seemed to be able to read my mind. He looked at me with the most loving expression,

“Well, Caroline you are fully committed now. All that insane crap in your other world is behind you. Stand up princess and let me see my lovely tattoo again.”

I stood, turned toward him, opened my gown like a theater curtain, and held it open. I knew what was coming. My pregnant tummy could not be cuter. I watched as his lips found his signature. He kissed each letter time after time, with his arms wrapped around beneath my gown holding me close. Then his tongue began to slowly descend through my thin pubic hair to find my most sensitive spot. For the next twenty minutes he devoured me. I was bound tightly in his strong black arms as he drove me out of my scull. I moaned freely, time after time until I began climaxing wildly and encircled his black kinky head to draw him inward even more tightly.

We remained bound together with his entire face buried in my sex as I trembled and shook all over. Finally he released me and allowed me to turn and collapse beside him on the edge of the bed. He reached over to take hold of my enlarged right breast and turn me to him. I could feel dampness everywhere.

He kissed me sweetly,

“Hey lover, I am going down to attend to some business. I want us to enjoy your new status.

There will be some company coming up to help you celebrate. Understand?”

I looked at him with my most incredulous look. He knew where he had taken me. He had done this to me many times before. He had heard my rampage on other men after he had me feeling like this. He had reports from these men after I was finished.

He knew he had me out of my mind with lust. He loved to hear me confess how much he owned me.

“Bobby, you own me and you know it. I am so ready to do whatever you want.”

He looked at me with that erotic smile and slowly reached down to fondle my right breast. It immediately responded into his hand. He licked his palm and returned it to my breast,

“I have several guys down there that want to come up here very badly. Do you want to take care of their needs for me?”

I smiled and nodded,

“You know I will sir. Just look at me. I will do anything you want.”

That was it. He was absolutely right. He knew exactly what type girl I was. I knew exactly what I was as well. We both knew exactly what would happen next.

He got up and looked down at me. It was the most possessive look I had ever seen. I shuddered with anticipation. It was clear he loved his work. He knew exactly where he had taken me. He knew exactly what to do next for me. He knew what I would do with whomever he sent to me.

“Good girl.”

I lay driven with desire as he turned and left the room leaving the door open.

Immediately a very young, very tall, very thin, very black young guy with a panicky look on his face came in. His eyes were filled with such lust.

I quickly sat up and turned to sit on the side of the bed. I removed the robe. I was completely nude. My arms went out automatically to greet him. He walked toward me while removing his shirt. He was rippled, so athletic looking. My hands found his belt buckle, then his boxers, then an enormous ready erection.

I went backward onto the bed pulling him with me. We move upward toward the pillows together. He came over me. I spread to the limit under him.

His weight was very light compared to others I had taken, but he was extremely athletic.

I was so ready; so moist. He entered smoothly and my vagina consumed his full length in one warm satisfying move. Our bodies came together tightly and his stroke began firmly right away. Twenty minutes later, with his unit buried to the limit in my body and his tongue buried to the limit in my throat, he came violently.

Once again Caroline broke the rules for a whore. She climaxed with her lover. She had fallen in love.

Dear reader, not a word had been spoken between us, but an emotional attachment had developed so quickly. It was another wonderful unique loving.

After a little rest we continued. We finished wildly together several more times and then he remained on top of me deeply embedded in my body as neither of us wanted this to end.

I felt safe, happy, and complete as a woman. There was no way the pain of the white world could find me beneath this wonderful creature.

It felt so natural to have him resting between my legs. Time and again he would shudder, drain, and then together we would tremble uncontrollably. Warm, loving feelings flowed between us. It was like we had known one another for years, but still not a word had been spoken.

Sometime later, he kissed me soundly, again and again, and then slowly lifted from my wet body. He arose from the bed and dressed while constantly looking down at me with the most committed expression.

In the semi-darkness our eyes locked on one another. His expression slowly changed into a kaleidoscope of satisfaction and possession. My heart was filled as well as my body.

A compulsion came over me. For some illogical reason I had to look down to see if BOBBY’S could have been erased by all the moisture and the loving motions. Can you believe I was relieved to see it had not? The tattoo stood out brightly in the semidarkness. I was a most possessed young woman--possessed on all levels.

He had noticed my glance downward to the tattoo and spoke for the first time,

“No question about where you belong, is there?”

He asked gently touching the tattoo,

I looked up right into his eyes, spread my legs every-so-slightly, and answered with a smile,

“There’s no question about where you belong either, is there my lover!”

He smiled broadly and bent down to kiss me.

“You’re sure right there. I belong right there.”

I rose up on my knees in the bed and encircled his neck as I kissed him. He deserved some additional affection and Caroline deserved it as well.

He looked up at me,

“You are very special, girl. You are everything brother could dream for.”

He very reluctantly turned away, looking down at me all the time.

“My time is up.”

He offered.

His expression said everything; he had come to me with lustit was now lovehonest love.

He went out the door and I fell back onto the clean pillows reflecting. My bed seemed so empty, my mind needed to be active right away to avoid feeling lonely.

Numbers always work their way into my thoughts. At least forty black guys had sexed me during the program I had been on with the “doctor”maybe many more.

One by one I tried to recall them. As I did, I had to admit I had such strong affection for each of them. Although they might have viewed me as a whore, there had not been one unkind moment. They were lovers and each of them had come to me with a need and left in love.

Then the thought crossed my mindI was certain all of them knew the program was a sham? It was easy to convince myself that they did.

It is all so complicated. Bobby is really such a good kind guy. He treats me like a princess. Why in the world would he do what he did to put together the program of deceit, why would Bobby go to all that trouble? Was it just the money? Surely, with all he had going on, he did not need to do that just for money. Was it just some wild altruistic game for him?

As I lay there thinking, a light bulb came on in my head; there was only one answer. Right from the beginning, in his own way, Bobby had been the good, kind, guy that I now knew and trusted. From the very beginning, Bobby only wanted me to do the right thing.

When his crazy program was finally revealed I initially thought he was a horrible self centered pimp. But, that was not the case. He really had my best interest and the best interest of this baby at heart right from the beginning. He put me through the whole thing because he wanted me to quit seeking dangerous alternatives and stay pregnant.

I relaxed in the bed with a completely new understanding that, for the first time, aligned everything. I gazed down over my nude bodymy tattoomy obvious tummy. Bobby was a good guy from the beginning. I was the one who had done wrong. I was pregnant when he met me. He had to play the hand he was dealt. He only wanted what was right.

Was that all there was to it, or was it a logical extension of the black man’s taboo desires for a white woman? There was no question he found such self worth handling my “situation”. I thought about all the black men who had sexed me. They all found such a possessive ego boost as they possessed my body.

As usual my mind moved back to numbers. It was like counting sheep. In addition to all those black guys that had sexed me during the program, last night alone I had taken at least ten more loversso I was going to count this lovely athletic guy as number fifty five. That was a good number for him. What a nice young guy. My, he was big, long and strong.

I had just finished my musing when another black lover knocked quietly on the jamb and slowly came through the open door.

He had removed everything in the hall except his boxer shorts. He made his way directly to the bed and into my waiting arms. He was ready, so very ready. I had learned to let my lovers have some freedom as to what they did with me, and much to my surprise he wanted me on top of him. What a good idea. I loved to be on top. I had learned that afternoon last summer with Bobby, when I am on top I can place things right where I want them to be. I reached down between us and guided a very thick, very hard, black male unit directly to the spot deep within my vagina that drove me crazy. I then slid down along him further until I had him pressing firmly against the two erotic spots at the top of my vulva. He had meor I had himall three of the wild spots deep in my body were engaged.

When I was finally in this perfect position, my large breasts were also suspended just above his face. They were filled and a bit of a bother. I leaned down close to his ear

“My breasts really need attention.”

That was all I got to say for the next hour. He went to work as requested. It felt so good. He consumed from one and then the other, all the time gently supporting and massaging with both hands. My reaction was immediate but there was still no way he knew how appreciative I was.

I moaned and began a slow grinding circular on his body. Together we found a wonderful relationship. For the next hour we dedicated ourselves to taking as much as we gave. He took my lactation and delivered his sperm into my vagina.

Bobby finally came to my room around eleven in the evening. The door was standing open; it had been open all along. He quietly knocked on the door jam and then turned to go back down the steps. At some point my black lover had turned me over and moved on top to relax. The knock was his signal that time was up. Without the knock we would have been right here for the remainder of the night. We embraced. He came down near my right ear kissed me and whispered,

“Wow woman, what a lover you are. I have to tell you though, I am not surprised. I knew you would be from that first day I followed you when you shoplifted at Mallmart.”

My heart jumped. He was one of the guards that originally caught me. I released my arms from around him and tried to look into his face. He lifted and looked down with a smile.

“Did you remember me?”

I brought him back down against me,

“I would much rather remember this.”

I commented.

He looked down at me with such a loving expression,

“I am so glad Jamal didn’t arrest you that day. What a waste that would have been.”

He hugged me. We kissed again. He slid out of the bed and into his boxers and was gone.

I lay very still, nude, flat on my back looking downward in the semidarkness. My tummy was very distinct and cute, my tattoo was very obvious. I smelled very good, and much loved. My black lover count was up one more.

WORKING WOMAN

I was just dozing off when Bobby returned. My door was standing open. He walked in, smiled down at me in the bed, and then reached down to snap his gold chain onto my neck band. An unmitigated sensual thrill passed through me from head to foot as he tugged gently on the chain as a signal to get up and follow him.

I stood up and he led me out and down the hall completely nude. The hall was dark, but I could see shapes of others moving down at the far end.

Once in his room Bobby took me directly to his bed. He stood for a moment taking off his African Caftan looking down ward at me all the time. I purposely make sure my eyes stayed locked on his as he moved about and came onto the bed and slid very close to my right side. His arm went under my neck and we rolled to face one another in a firm embrace.

Finally, he said something,

“Princess, you are something very special. I knew it from the beginning. As scared as you were that day I met you, you needed sexual attentions so badly and you took me so willingly. That alone told me so much.”

He smiled at me,

“All these guys love you. I get the best reports. Bobby has a fine new white girl. Couple of those guys that were here tonight knew you from before. The word is out. All over the hood there is powerful expectation. You’re getting lots of attention as a loving lady. Are you happy with all that?”

I hugged him.

“Yes sir. If it is what you want for me.”

It felt so good to be close to him; to be safe in his house and in his realm, and in his neighborhood. All the hate and screaming was far behind me. Every black guy he had introduced me too had been so loving—so caring and so genuine. I was no longer just a cute show piece to be put on display at the country club in a new spring dress. I was somebody for the first time in my life. I was truly the center of attention.

Bobby reached to his bed side stand and brought over a small tube of body cream. He started with my feet and proceeded to massage and put moisturizer on every inch of me as he continued softly talking.

It was quite late, or maybe quite early when he wrapped me in his arms and I heard his breathing turn heavy.

I awoke late morning to the smell of good coffee and bacon. I was alone in Bobby’s big bed, absolutely nude.

Bobby had just come in the door followed by another black guy with a large tray. Breakfast in bed, what a treat!

Quickly I checked and was pleased to learn, Caroline had retained everything that had been delivered into her body last evening. There were no embarrassments in Bobby’s beautiful bed. Thank goodness because, Bobbie came into the bed and we propped up on big pillows close together to enjoy breakfast.

Halfway through the meal he pointed across to a garment on his rattan dresser.

“I had that outfit over there brought up for you to wear today. I think you are going to look like a million bucks in it.”

I looked at him and smiled. His face had the luster of controlled passion I expected, but in addition he looked strangely troubled. He took a sip of coffee and then continued,

“There are two uncomfortable things we need to get behind us as soon as we can.

The first is to have a get together with that big stud Jamal. I want him to know the set up at the hospital blew up in your face and he is going to be a daddy. I also want him to know that you are safe here with me. We want to test how much he really wants to be involved. Not that it matters too much. Bobby has everything under control no matter what Jamal wants. It’s just we want him happy. We don’t want any surprises. ”

I looked at Bobby and said nothing. I knew this was part of the whole equation that needed an answer at some point, but it was all so scary. I had no idea how Jamal would react or what would happen, but Bobby was right—it was better to do it quickly.

He sat in silence a moment,

“The other thing is how to let your parents know you are ok without creating a war. Right away this morning I want my contacts to find out is if anyone has filed a missing person report on you. That could be a thorny issue. We sure do not want anyone snooping around down here looking for you. Maybe what is needed right now would be an untraceable phone call from you; maybe to you mother”

He went silent pondering.

When the meal was finished, he set the tray outside the door and went into the master bath together. His all glass shower was wonderful. There was no way a man could have been more attentive to his lady.

A full thirty minutes later we returned to the bedroom wrapped in towels. Bobby asked me to stand by the bed for a moment while he went over to the rattan dresser and returned with a tribal sarong over his arm. It was beautiful in opposing colors to what he was wearing. He took my towel and helped me into it. It had a beautiful fragrance and fit me perfectly. It was a thin luxurious velvet material held in placed by a colorful matching belt around my waist.

A glance in his full length mirror told me I was gorgeous, but it concealed very little. My light blond pubic hair was not discernible, but the tattoo right above could be read through the garment if someone really looked.

I slipped my feet into leather sandals Bobby had brought from the closet. He went down on one knee in front of me to wrap the leather ties of my sandals up around my lower legs. Strange erotic emotions overtook me as I looked down on his blackness. He worked at my legs slowly while often glancing over at our image in the mirror. He could easily be a royal king from some exotic African land with his white, blond, blue eyed slave girl. A shudder passed up through me starting deep in my body. This man owned me.

This all was so strange. I was desperate when I arrived here in the middle of the night. My world at home had completely collapsed into terror. I have never known anyone to be as angry as my folks that evening. I arrived here just looking for any port in a storm. I thought Bobby would provide me some protection, but it would be short term and at a price.

Little did I know how far he would take all this. In his strange kinky way this man loved me like no one ever had. Once I understood his motive regarding this pregnancy everything fell into place. I was in a safe loving place. This wonderful treatment was such an indicator of who he really was. All these other confusions in my life could be worked out as long as this man was on my side.

I reached down and gently rubbed his shoulders as he worked with the ties on my lower legs.

As I did, I became aware that my breathing had turned to panting. Just this one act of sensual loving kindness on his part was all it took to have me so turned on again. There was no way to hide how I felt about him.

When Bobby finished with the sandals, he stood up, took my gold chain and led me over to his full length gold framed mirror. I stood looking at my image as he came around behind me still holding the chain.

For the next several minutes we stood looking in the mirror. Time after time he hugged me and enthralled me with platitudes. Each loving comment he made took me higher. Bobby knew exactly what to say. He knew exactly what my ego needed to hear. Finally, he turned me toward him, adjusted the top of my outfit unnecessarily, and kissed me.

He smiled,

“Wow, I sure like this outfit. You look great in it. This is one of a several things I had sent over here for you to wear. My, you confirm I have good taste. I know they will all as attractive on you.”

He smiled warmly. Looked at me approvingly and together we walked out of the room and down the hall toward the stairwell.

I felt such empowerment as we left the room. Not a word had been said, but I knew I was number one in his heart. My relationship with Bobby had taken on new meaning. I had won him over completely. He loved me and I would do anything he wanted me to do. I now realized just how far he would go for me. He willingly took charge of everything, even the uncomfortable detailsthe call to Jamalthe contacts with my parents.

As I stood there in his embrace, interesting thoughts occurred. Love and true affection are powerful tools. Prior to me, Bobby probably thought he had everything, but when I came into his life he realized there was so much more. He scammed me not to hurt me, but to protect this baby. It had to hurt him terribly when I learned about what he was doing, reacted, and returned to the white world in anger. He undoubtedly thought I was gone.

There was so much more neither of us understood until I returned. Once I returned, I realized all he wanted to do, right from the moment he met me, was the right thing for me and this baby. Something I would never have done if left to my own devices. He brought me into his life to handle things the way he wanted and protect this baby.

When I came back, I brought with me something he had never had beforetrue affection and commitmentand it was obvious he now realized how much that added to his life.

There was such a bond between us, such a mutual need for one another. I followed him out the door and toward the stairwell. I felt beautiful.