He Knew When I Was Ready
It was late on a Friday night, back in the 90s.
The ride home from my regular bar involved two buses. I usually walked the second leg and it gave me a chance to drop into the erotic book store if I went a block or two out of my way. Which I did, pretty much every time.
The shop sold all types of material and I'd taken to buying gay magazines. I'd never done anything with another guy, but I got excited by seeing men sucking cocks and fucking.
I'd been going in there from time to time for a couple of years. To begin with, I'd just only picked out straight porn, but then I started drifting over to the gay section and briefly browsing there.
Later I'd spend more time looking at the pictures of naked men and their erect penises and finally, a few months before, I allowed myself to actually buy gay porn. Two magazines and a VHS.
Paul, at the counter, had looked at me and smiled a knowing smile.
"You're finally taking the plunge, I see. It took you long enough."
I guess he'd watched my progress over the months.
I felt ashamed as I paid him and left with the guilty bag under my arm. And yet I knew that I would soon be stroking my cock as I looked at other men.
I had an erection as I walked home.
It was an intense weekend, that first time. I stroked my cock and came to the pictures of men. Some just posing, some engaged in sex acts with others. All with magnificent cocks.
I allowed myself to admire them. Let my inhibitions go and reveled in the appreciation of these studs with their huge, hard meat on display.
I masturbated to orgasm four times before I got to the end of the videotape.
It was Sunday evening by then and I was exhausted. It seemed like I had only stopped to eat and sleep for two days, the rest of the time I'd been jerking my permanently hard cock. It had been fantastically erotic and I knew I was hooked on gay porn.
I started to imagine taking part in the action. What would I want to do?
I couldn't decide. It all excited me.
I wanted to suck cock. I wanted to feel a man's mouth on mine.
I wanted to slip my erect penis between the tight smooth muscled cheeks of a buff man's ass and fuck him, and I enjoyed imagining a strong, manly man pushing his cock into me.
One night I bought a dildo and some lube. Paul smiled again as he took my money.
He knew. He knew my secret. He knew how far my experimentation was going.
The anticipation, walking home was almost unbearable. I was going to fuck myself for the first time.
But I began to doubt myself. Question who I was.
I'd only ever had girlfriends. I'd never been attracted to men.
I still wasn't. I didn't walk along the street and check out guys. I looked at, admired, lusted for females.
But when I got to my building, I didn't second guess myself, the excitement was high and my cock was stiff as I hurried up from the lobby to my apartment.
I wasted no time. Stripped naked and took my growing collection of magazines out of their hiding place.
My cock was hard and bouncing up and down as I walked through to my bedroom where the freshly unboxed sex toy awaited me.
The first thing I did was hold it in my hand. I stroked up and down, imagining a real cock in my hand. I held it against my own hard cock. It was bigger. Bigger than I'd expected. I held it against myself and stroked both together.
And then I took the dildo and put it to my lips. Opened my mouth and started sucking on it.
Yes, yes! I was doing it! Sucking a cock. Like I'd imagined.
I stroked myself to orgasm quickly as I sucked off the big rubber dildo. My cum shot up onto my hairless chest and began trickling back down towards my groin.
I'd never eaten my own cum before, but it seemed like the right thing now. I scooped up some of my cum and slathered it on the dildo. Then I put it back into my mouth. Sucking a cock and tasting cum for the first time.
I rested for a few minutes, after my orgasm but sucking the cock and pretending it was one of the attractive men in my magazines brought me back quickly.
And now it was time, I knew, to see if I could get this toy into myself. To find out if I liked it, and not just the fantasy.
It took a while before I was able to take the rubber cock into my ass all the way.
I lay on my back with my legs apart but it was awkward.
Eventually I figured out to sit myself down on the upturned dildo and lower myself slowly.
It was painful. I hadn't figured out how to relax. And I needed more lube.
I rubbed on a whole lot and also rubbed some onto my ass.
Then with my slippery finger I pushed into my own ass and lubed myself even more. This was the first time I had ever fingered myself. I enjoyed it even as I felt shame for being such a deviant.
But I couldn't stop. I wanted this, I knew.
I positioned the cock against my anus and lay back again. This time bending my leg and using my heel to put steady pressure on the end of the dildo as I lay there.
My hands were on my ass cheeks, pulling them apart, as I finally managed to get the head into me and then - much more easily - the shaft.
I was exultant! I had done it. I had a big cock in my ass.
I bent my leg further and my heel pushed the dildo deeper.
I loved how it felt. The size of it stretching my ass.
I stroked my hard cock with the dildo filling my bottom, and quickly felt myself cumming.
The intense feelings that emanated from my ring made my orgasm stronger than I had ever felt.
I understood why some men like to be fucked, then.
And I realized I was one of them.
My purchases at the porn store became exclusively male.
I guess because it was always the same day and time that I went in there, it was generally Paul at the counter.
He'd gotten to know me and my preferences. We usually chatted now, as he bagged up my purchases.
Not about sex, just banter. Where I'd been what was on for the weekend. Guy stuff.
He was a lot older than me, but he was nice.
Then here we were, late on a Friday night, back in the 90s.
I was later than usual, but I still was horny for some new stroke material. These Friday shopping trips were my ritual, now.
Paul told me I was too late.
"Sorry, I was just closing up."
"I won't be long, I promise." I told him.
"Yeah, but I already cashed out. Sorry."
He began turning out the lights in the store.
I was disappointed. Then he made me an offer.
"I'll let you have something better, if you want."
"What's that?" I asked.
"The real thing."
Oh man. Did I have the nerve? What should I do? I stood there.
I didn't tell him no. Didn't leave. He knew. It was tacit acceptance of his offer.
He went and locked up the front door, came back to me and took my hand. The streetlights outside dimly lit us as he looked me in the eye and gently spoke.
"Come on. I know you want to. I think it's time."
He led me to the back room. There was a table and chairs and small stove and a sofa.
He closed the door and turned on the light. I felt so exposed.
"Can we do it with the light off?" I asked him.
He turned off the overhead light and a switched on a 30 watt nightlight.
"Is that OK?"
"You're shy, aren't you?"
"Yes. I never did this before."
"I figured. But you want to. I know you do."
My voice was barely above a whisper as I admitted to someone else, for the first time, that I wanted to experience homosexual action.
His hand came up to my face and he gently caressed my cheek.
"What do you want to do?"
My answer was the truth, but it was a big admission.
"I don't know, it all excites me."
"I'm versatile," he said "but I think I'd like to be the first man to fuck you. I've watched you for months and you're very sexy."
It was all I could think of to say, but I was immediately aroused to think that this man found me attractive.
"We'll go slow, if you have the time."
"All night. I want you to show me everything."
He took me in his arms in the dim light and kissed me on the lips, then led me to the couch.
I stood, submissively, and allowed him to undress me. Then watched in silent excited anticipation as he removed his own clothes.
He may have been older than me, but his body was fine, and when I caught my first glimpse of his cock, I reached another level of arousal.
It was beautiful. Perfect. The kind that most turned me on when I looked at my gay magazines.
I sat and he moved towards me. Stood right there in front of me. His cock just a few inches from my face.
"Touch it. I know you want to."
He was right. I reached up and allowed my fingers to touch another man's erect penis. Then my hand went around him and I held his wonderful hard cock in my fist.
A real cock. Stroking him. So attractive, it was like a magnet to my mouth. I kissed his cock up and down its length. Then took him into my mouth. Sucking it. Sucking off a man.
He towered over me, held my head and thrust his cock between my lips.
I reached up and gripped his manly buttocks as his cock went in and out of my mouth. This was so much better than my dildo.
I loved feeling his ass in my hands, then running my palms down and over his thighs.
Strong and hairy. A man. Touching a man's body. Feeling his muscles.
I reached up and fondled his balls as his cock continued in and out of my mouth.
Sucking him. Touching him. Caressing his fine body.
I felt precum almost flooding out of my cock. I wanted to stroke myself, but I was enjoying the sensation of touching him.
He slowed his movements and released his hold on my head. He pulled his cock from my puffy lips and leaned down. I lifted my face to his and he kissed me deeply.
I felt his tongue enter my mouth and then he lowered himself to the couch. Pushed me down onto my back and laid himself on top of me.
His arms went up and under my shoulders and he pressed a thigh between mine, spreading my legs.
Our cocks were against each other. His, wet with my saliva, mine, slick with precum. I humped against him. Feeling our hard shafts touch and rub. His lips stayed on mine the whole time. His kisses were urgent and intense and more meaningful than any girl's.
He broke off after a while and whispered into my ear.
"I'm going to fuck you now."
"Yes! Yes I want it." I admitted.
He had some lube and covered his cock with it as I watched. Then he reached between my legs and rubbed some more on my butt hole.
I spread my legs wider.
He climbed between.
Our eyes locked as he reached down between us to guide his hard cock to my ass.
"I've been practicing for this moment" I told him.
"Then you know you'll like it." He pressed himself into me.
I relaxed and felt his entire shaft slip up my ass. Oh my god so good.
"YES! I like it. I love it!"
"Fuck me. I love how your cock feels. I love how my ass feels with your cock in it."
He fucked me.
He fucked my ass. I lay there, under him and felt his cock going in, and in, and in, and into me. Fucking me.
He told me how good I felt. He told me how excited it made him to be fucking me, at last.
I held onto his neck and pulled him down onto me. I looked over his shoulder and watched his sexy bum as it went up and down with his thrusting cock impaling my virgin ass.
I lifted my legs and raised myself off the cushion. He reached back and caught one leg in the crook of his arm, keeping me lifted and making it possible for him to drive his cock even deeper.
He went faster. I bucked against him, keeping pace.
His cock was hitting somewhere inside me that seemed to give me a permanent orgasm. Cum was trickling from my cock. Cum and precum combined.
A steady stream of fluid, dribbling out of me and onto my belly as he fucked me, fucked me, fucked me. I locked my legs behind him. Clasped my arms round his shoulders.
I was almost lifted off the couch with how tight I held him.
He fucked and fucked and fucked my ass.
In and out and in and in and deeper and deeper and then yelled out
"Do you want it?"
"Cum!" I told him. "Cum in me. Make me yours."
I held on tighter still and he took one more hard deep thrust and stayed there, grinding himself into me as his cum shot out and filled my bottom.
Fantastic. I felt complete.
"So good." he told me.
"So good." I agreed, breathlessly.
He stayed there, on top of me. His cock in my ass. I laid under him and pulled him back down. This time, I initiated the kissing.
We remained that way for several blissful minutes and I felt his penis soften and shrink and he slowly withdrew from my body.
He climbed up and stood. I was on the couch, looking up at him. My legs still wide apart. Unashamed.
He handed me a towel. I felt like a slut, sticky with cum, and was enjoying it. I decided not to wipe it off. I just got dressed, pulling my clothes over the mess.
My cum was sticky on my chest and belly and in my pubic hair. I felt his cum seeping out of my ass, soaking my briefs.
"I have to go," he told me.
"Me too, I guess."
We walked to the door, he unlocked it and let us out before closing up shop again.
He kissed me once more, right there in the street. I kissed back, not caring who might see.
We parted there and I walked to my apartment on unsteady legs. Relishing the residual sensations in my ass. Smiling to myself. Having a secret from the few other people I saw on the street. Yes, I'd just been fucked. I took it in the ass. And it was the best thing ever.
It wasn't the only time we were together. It was just the beginning.
I still have girlfriends, but Paul is a constant in my life now.
We sleep together often, at his place or mine. We fuck and suck and fondle and stroke each other.
His ass is as sexy and arousing as any in the magazines I have bought and he likes to be fucked. I enjoy fucking him, shooting my cum into him.
He is an excellent cocksucker too. I have cum into his mouth many times.
His cock is wonderful and attractive and I love how it feels in my hand and mouth.
But when he fucks me when I feel him impaling my ass with his beautiful meat I'm in heaven.